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"ability to accept humility"

8/26/2013

3 Comments

 
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Hi.  My name is Jennifer and I took the CrossFit Level 1 Trainer course and......FAILED!  Yup, that's right my friends, I failed!  As in, I did not pass.  As in, I need to take it again!  Why am I sharing this with you?  Why not?  I share positive situations and experiences, why not share this not so positive one.  

So many thoughts went through my head after receiving my results...I have an amazing opportunity once I pass this course...did I just blow it?  Will people judge me because I may think I know what I'm doing but because I failed this test, I don't?  Am I even good enough to be coaching other people?  This can't be possible...there must be a flaw in the system!  Did I really just see FAIL under my name?  Are you freaking kidding me?? How did this happen?  Did I time it wrong? Should I have waited until the boys were back in school and my mind wasn't so flustered? and so on and so on....


After throwing a minor temper tantrum like a toddler,  I realized that part of my being upset is not necessarily because I failed a silly test, but because I was embarrassed to tell anyone that I failed a silly little test.   Don't let me fool you, I am devastated that I didn't pass this written test.  I have been doing CrossFit for a year and a half, and I know this stuff. Ha!  I may know how to show up to class, lift heavy stuff, do way too many burpees, hang upside down, do a double-under and feel like I've had my butt kicked after an hour but this 55 question test is telling me I don't!  And THAT, is discouraging and quite frankly a confidence buzz kill to say the least. 


If you follow my personal facebook account, you may remember a post from last week that said I have learned "the ability to accept humility."  This quote has been put to the test!  After spending the afternoon with my supportive family...husband, kids, mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law....the people who KNOW me and LOVE me unconditionally, I tried, stubbornly tried, to see the light in all of this.   We are all our own worst critics so that was (is) hard.  Well, I woke up and decided it was a new day and instead of hiding behind my "FAIL," I'm going to announce it to whoever reads this!   I am not a failure!  I am not stupid. I am not less of a person/crossfitter because I failed a silly, tricky little test.  I am a better person because I tried.  I am a better person because I am learning the "ability to accept humility" and that is harder than any test.  AND I am a better person because I already signed up for my re-test and I KNOW exactly where I need to focus my studies!  I do need to find clarity in the difference of "best" vs. "most important.'  They seem pretty lateral and interchanging to me?! But what do I know?! Haha!

Failing is one of life's biggest lessons and tests.  It's a lesson that knocks you down but forces you to move on and do better.  It's also a test to see HOW you pick yourself up and move on.  HOW you take that negative and turn it into a positive.  And THAT my friends, is exactly what I am going to do...pick myself up, move on, study harder and focus on my daily blessings that I know give me a passing grade!  And dang it, if I have to wait a few more weeks to get my 25% off new CrossFit shoes, well, I guess I'll have to wait!

3 Comments
Courtney link
8/26/2013 01:08:10 am

I love that you shared this! I think that we all face failures and to often hide behind them! I am so very proud of you sister!!! Lots of love xoxoxox

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Heidi
8/26/2013 07:38:50 am

You are a WOMAN! Hear you ROAR! It is my firm belief that we learn far more from our failures than our successes. Keep on keeping on and you WILL pass this test because I think you already have (and get your 25% off). Love you!

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Jenny
8/30/2013 04:44:52 am

I am so proud of you Jen. I know how hard it must have been on you but if anyone can make it a positive and turn it all around, it's you!! Xoxo

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    Just a mom trying to create a healthy & balanced life for my family.  Fitness, health & the love of my boys keep me on my toes...

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